The azure of the ocean where I usually run to,
The light blue sky I see every morning from the bus I took to college,
My dad's cobalt blue Vespa he just bought months ago but he never drives it anyway,
A blue old jumper jacket of my long lost friend,
The last denim blouse I worn to the last day of exam,
And most of the color of my clothing,
Van Gogh and his unexplainable thought,
Troye Sivan's Blue Neighbourhood,
The shady color I saw every morning in the mirror,
January,
The end of June,
And a start of everything,
Are the few things that reminds me of blue.
Blue is like colour of cosmic memory that gives me this sense of mixed feelings; security, peace, calmness, sadness, disappointment, trustworthy and of course vivid memory I tried to recall back in. These unexplainable feelings of blue that could tame the firing red of my monstrous souls. Souls, because I believe there are lot more souls than just one soul in everyone. That is why they are colourful inside, and each of the colour inside them can balance each other flames.
But blue/bleu/azure/biru has something special in it.
Something I always thankful to have one. Or maybe not, maybe I just drown into it.
Just like the ocean I always drown into, not in literal way, but I always feel like the oceans has it own spark to call me back. A peaceful calling for a dazzled mind. Ocean is my own personal medicine of anything. But, when it is not possible to have the Ocean, the light blue sky in the morning can be my second option. Jakarta isn't a best place to see a clear blue sky beyond 7AM, but before that, it could pays off a little bit of your disappointment. Especially when I saw it from the rooftop of my university, it cured everything. Really.
I remembered how my dad used to rant to buy a red Vespa years back, but he never bought it. He said he wanted to recall his youth by buying one of them. He never did until now, and I couldn't never been happier over that. Yet, the colour isn't red and wheelchair is the only ride he could ride in. He chooses a right colour even though not what he wanted to have, but blue is the right colour as an expression of himself. He never drown into disappointment, yet he trusted me to ride and keep his Vespa for him. And blue isn't the colour of betrayal.
Dreams and memory are symbolised by the vivid colour of blue. And blue always stand out more in my mind than any other colour. If we just met, I suggest you to wear blue, I can guarantee you will stick in memory as clear as the blue sky. Memory of blue doesn't go off easily, it gives me sense of security and trust that I can't even explain why. Just like my friend's jumper I always remembered, and what colour of shirt I wore on the last day of exam. As clear as that, I remember every single blue of people. Their blue clothes or their blue mind. So don't blame me if I keep on buying blue clothing every single time.
Sometimes I don't understand why I adored things that I can't express by words, like my adoration towards Van Gogh and his unexplainable mind. He is all the sadness, beauty and blue combined into a piece of artwork. An artwork that soaring the real feelings of a mankind; the rejection feeling and every heartbreaks he puts on into his art. But still painted beautifully in a charming and peaceful Van Gogh kind of way. You can see how he always painted blue or shades of blue into his artwork, they are heartbreakingly beautiful. You could feel his sadness in a glance on his paintings, or maybe I am the only one who do? Thus, somehow this makes me related to him and his artworks. As related as Blue Neighbourhood that inspired me to make a writing about blue.
And I started this year with blue,
The darkest one. This commonly happened at the end of June, but the storm never been hit me up so hard until January colour me blue. Because getting over and losing something always been blue, never been the others. Because it remains in your memory and starting over always leaves a spark of dusty blue in your head.
But no matter how blue the world and I would be,
The shady shadows I saw in the mirror is always be the blue one.
