Toast, Milk and A Poem

Mulut-mulut naga berteriak api membelalak
Ia terbakar, geram menggerus jiwa nya yang lelah
Teriaknya hening, tawamu menggema
Lagi ia terjerat angin-angin menerpa

Mengapa hadir, mengapa pergi, mengapa bermain-main
Tidak tahu, ia sudah cukup bertanya tanpa tanya
Hening berhembus kencang memberi kabar pada alam semesta
Yang tidak memberi jawaban, yang hanya mengepung angin berita

Topeng-topeng transparan yang menggelikan
Puas menunjukkan kemunafikkan keegoisan
Mengapa hadir, mengapa pergi
Harus-harusnya tiada berjumpa

Mulut-mulut naga tetap membakar api membelalak
Tiada air mampu meredam, menunda
Habis sudah termakan mulut-mulut api naga
Meninggalkannya dijejak yang tetap tersisa

Sasha yang sedang di Yogyakarta (lagi) dan gak bisa tidur, 16 Desember 2016.

Dear 2016 me,

I can't be more thankful for what we've done on this long rough journey called 2016. I know it wasn't easy and nothing will ever be but you've been doing great and practically well. It amazed me how you've tried to make a deal with all of those demons you've been dealing with since ever, surprisingly,  you won over them by heart.

I remember clearly how much you hated the ocean, because you are afraid that you might drown into it, drown into something that you can't swim through it. You fear them because you believed that you were not belong to the wind that mess around your hair, the sand on your toes, the salt on your skin, and the waves that tickled your ears. They were not yours, yours to be the one whom you adored, and yours to be the place you left your soul sink in. But eventually, as your heart grew bigger and your guts grew stronger, you opened up your eyes and see all possibilities to fell in love to something that you used to hated the most. The Ocean. Because you already know how to swim through it, without any fears of drowning, without any fears of longing. Throughout 2016, you kept on coming back to the home of Poseidon; Bali, Jogjakarta, Jakarta then you'll be back to Jogjakarta again for sake of visiting God almighty greatest creation. There you could calm your burning mind down with the breeze of ocean's air, and some music from the birds and the waves. You listened to the music of the waves with a little clumsy tiptoes as you danced by the sea, to showed up your brave heart, and made your smile a little more brighter. Bali, Jogjakarta and Jakarta's (pretty much) Bay, brought many memories throughout this year. And taught you well how to deal with most of your enemies, even they made you fall in love with them without any doubts.

You've been weak, you've been exhausted over everything. All those euphoric sounds echoed in your mind were all just bitter parts you could actually ignored from your life's ingredients. No, you don't have to add it up to your life ever again, not to the newborn baby of 2017. Remember all those bumps on your car you used to hit up to its body and you were able to cover them up eventually? You could actually did the same things to your tender heart (whom you now cover it with solid metal in case you wouldn't be able to break it again) as this year gone by. Even an engine of a car needed a rest after you rode them for a whole day through, it might heated up and might destroyed the other engine parts if you don't, and so do you. No matter how far you tried to travel, no matter how much experience you'd been trying to seek out; remember to took a rest so the engine wouldn't blow out, and the wheels would still be able to carry you on the road. Choose a proper oil and petrol (literally or metaphorically), take a good care of your engine, you need them to travel the road named Life and Reality.

For those who choose to come, to go, and even to stay, I am thankful for having you all throughout this year. Really, Thank you. Thank you for the stories and all those memories you all made to cherish and gave a bit more spices to 2016 me. Thank you for all the advices and directions you gave me on my way to passed this whole year through, this ride was tough and I couldn't bear with this alone. And thank you for those who came back or even to those who left me perplexed; From that I could learn how suck human being are. No, I was kidding. From that I actually learn a lot how to deal with these whom-they-called-them-normal human being in real life, and learn tear and keep a lot more better and mature now.  And I learn a lot about people's mind this whole year, and It was really saddening why am I one of them.

That part I was not being serious.

I am very delighted and thrilled to see what 2017 would bring. And for you 2016, thank you for being one of me, you could let this blackbird go fly around now so she could find another year to fly on again. And fly on upon another ocean again.

And for my dearest little munchkin mou, thank you for inspiring me to started this post with the true-est lyrics of all time. I owe you since 2009-forever.